Robert en ik zien en horen elkaar niet met regelmaat maar er is een soort totaal niet te verklaren connectie. Zo zijn er in de 25 jaar dat wij elkaar nu kennen telkens weer momenten geweest dat we precies op het juiste moment in de lucht kwamen. Dat lange weekend Parijs, bijvoorbeeld, gaf mij de gelegenheid om naar het Île de la Cité te gaan, naar De Boom, waar ik jaren ervoor met mijn moeder was geweest. U kunt over het hoe en waarom desgewenst hier lezen. In april 2020 zou Robert naar Nederland komen, maar u weet, covid en lockdowns.
Een paar maanden geleden kreeg ik een sterk gevoel dat er wat zaken speelden in zijn leven en dat gevoel bleek juist te zijn, evenals over wat er aan de hand was. Het werd nu ook dringend tijd om elkaar weer eens in real life te gaan zien. Ik vermoedde zomaar dat dat niet lang op zich zou laten wachten. En jawel hoor, gisteren berichtte Robert me of ik vanavond tijd had voor een drankje en een hapje, en, ik lees tussen de regels door, er moet weer eens even goed bijgepraat worden. Die niet in woorden te vangen connectie tussen ons brengt ons steeds op cruciale momenten in één van onze levens bij elkaar om het allemaal eens even tegen het licht te houden of om gewoon precies op het juiste moment het enig juiste te doen. Zo kan ik me de twijfel herinneren over Roberts grote stap van Toronto naar Manchester. Gezeten aan een dinertafel ergens in een Rotterdams restaurant vertelde hij in een lange monoloog over alle ins en outs, voors en tegens. Toen hij klaar was keek ik hem aan en zei: 'We weten alle twee dat je het gewoon gaat doen'. Ik denk dat wij ver genoeg van elkaar afstaan (we zien elkaar soms letterlijk jaren niet) en tegelijkertijd toch die raadselachtige connectie hebben om in dit leven dit voor elkaar te kunnen betekenen. U weet dat ik er zeer van overtuigd ben dat je nooit zonder reden mensen ontmoet in je leven.
Dus vanavond gaan Robert en ik elkaar zien en wat zullen we veel te bepraten hebben. Hij is ook de enige mens op de wereld die dit één avond van te voren op me kan droppen. U weet, ik ben normaliter van de geplande spontaniteit, een mens die rustig wandelend door het leven gaat en hij is daar precies het tegenovergestelde van, maar van hem kan ik het hebben. Al 25 jaar.
Nou, u heeft heel wat te lezen vandaag:
maandag 21 mei 2012
The days of the purple shirt
This blog will be in English in honour of my friends Robert and Gaetano, so they are able to see what is written about them. And as to be expected by reading his name, Gaetano is Italian, but that language is a bridge too far for me.
It all began at September the 27th in 1997, I was out on the town in The Hague and just as we were on our way to another club, cause this one was closing, an Italian-accented voice asked to no one in particular: "Where is the Strass-bar". "You can walk with us" I replied, since we were planning on going there as well.
Along with him were a dutch girl Hikke and another guy from Canada, Robert.
Inside the Strass bar I asked Robert why he was here and he told me he was at the Erasmus University in Rotterdam and that he was there for quite some time already and had to stay for at least 6 months more. Then I asked him the priceless question: "Are you a student?" Which makes him laugh, because little did I know that in front of me stood Professor Dr. Robert, MD, FRCPC, Phd.
We had a wonderful evening and travelled home together to Rotterdam by nighttrain, because both Robert and Gaetano lived there as well.
That evening was the beginning of a friendship which transcend our different backgrounds (Canadian, Italian and Dutch) and nevertheless our different places in life. A Doctor at his level is quite something different than selling books, but the remarkable thing about both Robert and Gaetano is that this has never been and never will be an issue. Robert once told me that he likes the fact that I only know him as Robbie and not as doctor with the white coat on, that it is fun to talk about other things with me than his work which he is very dedicated to, let there be no mistake about that.
To illustrate his oppinion about that this is what happend on a convention somewhere in Europe (Switserland I believe), where my name popped up in a conversation, so his colleague asked what profession I was in and when he told her she replied: "How can you be acquintance with someone like that?" That was the point where Robert started one of his (in)famous lectures to her....
All the time he was here we did wonderful things like going out, have dinners, had good meaningful conversations about life and for me he showed me the importance of enjoy life to the fulllest. I think with much love and joy about those days, which I prefer to call "The days of the purple shirt" refering to a wonderful picture taken of Robert at my place wearing a purple shirt. Also Robert had to overcome some things during the time he lived here and for me the purple shirt is like a symbol for the changes for both him and me.
But professor or not, he had to be out of his appartment two weeks before his actual flight to Toronto, so he stayed two weeks in my tiny little guestroom with all he collected in his one and a half year stay which, on the last day before he went back for good, was spread around my livingroom with him walking distraughtly around it shouting: "How can I take all this with me?"
All those years we kept contact and whenever he was in the Netherlands for work he always finds time to have dinner with me and catch up, that's where I got to know his partner for 12 years now, Nick, who came along one time.
Gaetano on the other hand stayed a bit longer and it was on December 6th 2001 when I was invited to his public defense of his thesis at the Erasmus University, and the party afterwards which was quite an experience with para nymphs and all. Priceless to see was the face of his brother Fabrizio who was one of the para nymphs. Gaetano frightend him by saying that him could be asked questions as well. In the limited time where Gaetano had to answer the questions, he stretched time by repeating the question before answering. Wonderful. At the lovely dinnerparty afterwards I met his sweet mother as well.
And now 15 years after our first meeting Robert is still travelling the world for his work but has his base in Toronto and after working in different places in different countries Gaetano is working there as well, together with Robert. How wonderful is that?!
Last Friday Robert called me and I learned three things from that phonecall:
He invites me to come over to Toronto in May next year, we talked about it a lot in the past, but Robert says we now have to put action to word, and I am very, very pleased and happy about it, can you imagine little ol' me going intercontinental?!
Robert, Gaetano and me back together again, it's equal to a reunion of the Supremes!
It all began at September the 27th in 1997, I was out on the town in The Hague and just as we were on our way to another club, cause this one was closing, an Italian-accented voice asked to no one in particular: "Where is the Strass-bar". "You can walk with us" I replied, since we were planning on going there as well.
Along with him were a dutch girl Hikke and another guy from Canada, Robert.
Inside the Strass bar I asked Robert why he was here and he told me he was at the Erasmus University in Rotterdam and that he was there for quite some time already and had to stay for at least 6 months more. Then I asked him the priceless question: "Are you a student?" Which makes him laugh, because little did I know that in front of me stood Professor Dr. Robert, MD, FRCPC, Phd.
We had a wonderful evening and travelled home together to Rotterdam by nighttrain, because both Robert and Gaetano lived there as well.
That evening was the beginning of a friendship which transcend our different backgrounds (Canadian, Italian and Dutch) and nevertheless our different places in life. A Doctor at his level is quite something different than selling books, but the remarkable thing about both Robert and Gaetano is that this has never been and never will be an issue. Robert once told me that he likes the fact that I only know him as Robbie and not as doctor with the white coat on, that it is fun to talk about other things with me than his work which he is very dedicated to, let there be no mistake about that.
To illustrate his oppinion about that this is what happend on a convention somewhere in Europe (Switserland I believe), where my name popped up in a conversation, so his colleague asked what profession I was in and when he told her she replied: "How can you be acquintance with someone like that?" That was the point where Robert started one of his (in)famous lectures to her....
All the time he was here we did wonderful things like going out, have dinners, had good meaningful conversations about life and for me he showed me the importance of enjoy life to the fulllest. I think with much love and joy about those days, which I prefer to call "The days of the purple shirt" refering to a wonderful picture taken of Robert at my place wearing a purple shirt. Also Robert had to overcome some things during the time he lived here and for me the purple shirt is like a symbol for the changes for both him and me.
But professor or not, he had to be out of his appartment two weeks before his actual flight to Toronto, so he stayed two weeks in my tiny little guestroom with all he collected in his one and a half year stay which, on the last day before he went back for good, was spread around my livingroom with him walking distraughtly around it shouting: "How can I take all this with me?"
All those years we kept contact and whenever he was in the Netherlands for work he always finds time to have dinner with me and catch up, that's where I got to know his partner for 12 years now, Nick, who came along one time.
Gaetano on the other hand stayed a bit longer and it was on December 6th 2001 when I was invited to his public defense of his thesis at the Erasmus University, and the party afterwards which was quite an experience with para nymphs and all. Priceless to see was the face of his brother Fabrizio who was one of the para nymphs. Gaetano frightend him by saying that him could be asked questions as well. In the limited time where Gaetano had to answer the questions, he stretched time by repeating the question before answering. Wonderful. At the lovely dinnerparty afterwards I met his sweet mother as well.
And now 15 years after our first meeting Robert is still travelling the world for his work but has his base in Toronto and after working in different places in different countries Gaetano is working there as well, together with Robert. How wonderful is that?!
Last Friday Robert called me and I learned three things from that phonecall:
- When I heard his cheerful voice it's like it's 1998 again
- We have that remarkable thing that we pick things up where we left off the last time no matter how long ago it was.
- Talking English on the phone is so much harder compare to talking it with a real life person in front of you.
He invites me to come over to Toronto in May next year, we talked about it a lot in the past, but Robert says we now have to put action to word, and I am very, very pleased and happy about it, can you imagine little ol' me going intercontinental?!
Robert, Gaetano and me back together again, it's equal to a reunion of the Supremes!
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| Robert, Gaetano and me at Bazar Rotterdam in 1999 |
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| The famous purple shirt |
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| Invitation from Gaetano |
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